Pick-up Lines

Welcome to my Bali Ha'i | home

Pick-up Lines

*Can i borrow you library card because i'd like to check you out!*

*You're like a traffic ticket; you've got F-I-N-E written all over you.*

*I should call the police, cause you're stealing my heart!*

*Do you have a cell phone? My mom told me to call her when I met the girl of my dreams* (hehehe)

*Was your dad a mechanic, cause he sure put your cylinder where my piston wants to be.*

*Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.*

*I lost my rubber ducky. Can I bathe with you instead?*

*Excuse me, do you have a band-aide, cause I skinned my knee when I fell for you.*

*Don't stick your tongue out unless you intend to use it.*

*Do you eat lots of Lucky Charms, cause you look magically delicious.*

*You remind me of a crescent wrench. Every time I see you, my nuts tighten up.*

*Stop the grinnin' and drop the linen.*

*If I had you, I wouldn't have to dream anymore.*

*I lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you?*

*Want a weiner between those soft buns?*

*Sex is an evil, evil is a sin, sins are forgiven, so stick it in!*

*You've been a bad girl. Go to my room!*

*Hi! I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?*

*I knew my life had a purpose, but I didn't kno what it was till I saw you.*

*I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I sure can make your bed rock!*

*Hey baby! Wanna come to my house to work on your math skills? We can add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply!*

*I've fallen head over heels for you, but I kno some other positions, too.*

*You'd better start giving me mouth to mouth, cause you took my breathe away!*

*Wow! I didn't kno angels could hide their wings so well!*

*Your a twinkle in my eye, and an angel from the sky.*

*It must be dark outside, cause all the sunshine is here.*

*Do you work for UPS, cause I swear I saw you checking out my package.*

*God made the wind blow, god made the sun shine, but how the hell did he make you so fine!?*

*I know milk does the body good, but damn boy, how much milk did you drink?* (Caitlin's fave!!)

*You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?*

*Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.*

*Do you sleep on your stomach at night? Can I?*

*I'm doing a term paper on the finer things in life. Can I interview you?*

*Sure, I'm missing some teeth, but that just means there's more room for your tongue!*

*What? You have to use the bathroom? You mind if I come with you?*

*You're just what the doctor recommended.*

*Want to check out my laptop?*

*Do you mind if I stare at you close up instead of from across the room?*

*Your outfit matches your eyes. But I'm sure it matches my floor better.*

*Are you a rock collector? 'Cause you're making me hard.*

*If you could be any more my type, I don't know what I'd do.*

*Does your dad work at Snapple? 'Cause you're made from the best stuff on earth.*

*Is that my cell? Oh, my mistake... It's just your body calling me.*

*I will assume the position if you promise to frisk me.*

*Boy, you can can kiss heaven goodbye because it's got to be a sin to look that good!*

*I'm feeling a little off today... Would you like to turn me on?*

*Excuse me, my car's in the shop & I was wondering if I could ride you home?*

*Can I have your number? I have 35 cents and no one to call.*

**Female Comebacks**

Man: Haven't I seen you someplce before?

Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there

anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit

down.

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to

mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, whats your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for

you.

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die

laughing.